plasticasshole | Aefenglom IC Inbox

Yes, I can meet you. How about the park by the cottages?

[There should be ample sunlight there. He's admittedly very curious about this.]

That sounds perfect.

[It's not even too far too walk, and the time of day is about right for getting some good sun. That's really what he wants, all things considered.]

I'll be waiting there around sunset, if that's alright.

That’s fine. I’ll see you there.

[Later, at sunset, L will find Connor at the park flicking his coin between his hands idly.]

[L intended to get there early, but still finds Connor waiting, with a coin dancing between his fingers, reflecting the setting rays. Good; it's more or less confirmation that L desired, to ensure that his idea for a gift was ultimately a good one.

He approaches the android-turned-merrow, nodding a stilted greeting, offering what appears to be a compact folding mirror in both extended palms. Intricate and careful runes are inscribed around the edges.]

Merrow like things that shine, right? I thought that... if you wanted to use this to catch the light in a particular way, I could preserve it for you.

[Connor takes the mirror curiously.]

We do, yes.

[He turns the mirror in his hands, then starts to reflect the sun with it. It’s bright, and more importantly, it shines.]

Like this?

[L can preserve this?]

[L cants his head, watching, squinting, and then nodding.]

Yes... like that, provided that's the angle and the light you want.

[There are distinctions, and the whole point is to get a version of the sunset that Connor enjoys. As Connor turns the mirror in his hands, L prepares himself, removing a small and very sharp blade from its leather sheath. Blood magic's allure has grown on him increasingly in the last few weeks, and as a very ends-justify-the-means kind of guy, it was only a matter of time before L onboarded with it completely.]

[Connor focuses on the mirror, until he has it perfectly how he wants it. Then he looks to L, and blinks at the knife. He doesn’t feel in danger, but he frowns a little anyway.]

What are you doing with that?

It's nothing to worry about...

[He insists as much, even if he looks slightly paler and more peaky than usual.]

Just a few drops to stabilize the spell. It's not unusual for witches.

[And his hand and wrist certainly tell that story; there are many small cuts in various stages of healing, and he's incredibly casual about creating another little incision, holding a hand out for the mirror, which is currently glowing, runes and all, to capture Connor's preferred angle of the sunset.]

[Connor passes the mirror over, and gives L a disapproving look.]

I'm starting to wonder if you enjoy suffering.

[Some humans do, though Connor will never understand it.]

[L unflinchingly takes the mirror, running his bleeding fingertip around the rim to make it glow even brighter and more steadily.]

I enjoy excellence, no matter the cost. I thought that of all people, you could appreciate that.

[The SQUIP certainly can. He hands the red-tinged mirror back, the blood melting away into the glowing runes as he does so.]

That won't ever dim or change.

[In other words? Well worth it, in his opinion.]

I can. But every time I see you lately, you seem to be hurt in some way.

[He's only speaking out of concern. He appreciates excellence, but he feels like in a world with so much magic, there are better ways to perform. He takes the mirror back, and holds it tightly. He appreciates it.]

Thank you for this. I'll keep it somewhere special.

[L can blame it on the glare of the sunlight, if he needs to... but his eyes are slightly squinted and constricted at the edges in response to Connor's candid statement.

These sorts of matters are so very uncomfortable to address directly. L considers himself a logical and rational being, but flying in the face of that claim is his mile-wide self-destructive streak. ]

Actually, I'm doing well.

[He revises quickly.]

The SQUIP and I are doing well. We're reaching our objectives with higher success rates.

[He nods briskly, satisfied with the way Connor's received his gift. Absentmindedly, he sucks on the small cut on his hand, knowing that it won't bleed for long.]

I'm happy to hear that. You do seem to be holding yourself better than before, I'll admit.

[He puts that down to the SQUIP working its magic.]

Maybe you could find an alternative to having to cut yourself open every time you want to do magic, though?

[He rests a hand on L's shoulder, giving him an earnest look. He does care, maybe partly because of his Bond with the SQUIP, but also partly because... well, he just cares. L hasn't really given him any reason not to.]

[L nods emphatically. It's refreshing to hear that, actually, when so many seem to disapprove of the arrangement. Really, though the methods might be strange and even extreme, they do work, and they are helping.]

The magic is sound, and effective on its own. The blood is just an extra boost, and... it's useful, for particularly good results or to make up for being tired.

[He's... pretty obviously tired... and shocked, actually, when Connor lays a hand against his shoulder. He's gotten used to this kind of gesture from the SQUIP, but doesn't expect it from anyone else, or quite know how to deal with it. More than the touch, the earnestness in Connor's eyes and genuine concern visibly spooks him; it means, after all, that he's demonstrating weakness, and if he does that, well... he can be destroyed.]

What are you doing?

[He doesn't specify a behavior, because truly, he's not sure what's making him so uneasy. Nothing about this inherently should. He's just this unused to kindness.]

Well, I appreciate that you wanted this mirror to work perfectly. But please don't hurt yourself for my sake anymore.

[Connor tilts his head slightly.]

I'm being concerned for you. Does that make you uncomfortable?

[He can see it in L's eyes, feel it in the way he stiffens under Connor's touch.]

[L starts to address Connor's first request, seeming to object; by his standards, it hardly qualifies as hurting himself for the sake of a goal. Small incremental forms of self-abuse are very normal for him, after all, from sleepless nights to an endless supply of sugar and caffeine in place of other forms of sustenance and energy. His career was so dangerous that he has foregone a name, even an identity outside of it.

The words die in his throat at the second question, because... well, hell yes, it make him uncomfortable. Very obviously so, because his hands have both crept up to pull at the hairs nearest the nape of his neck in fistfuls. The cut, which is yet to stop bleeding and no longer being sucked on, drips in a line of mixed blood and saliva down his wrist.]

It's highly unnecessary.

[The words are measured, forcibly calm, even though everything about his body language radiates low-key panic.]

Edited 2019-09-24 02:14 (UTC)

You didn't answer my question.

[Connor doesn't move his hand away, and though his tone is pleasant his gaze is intense. He's seeing all of the discomfort, and without thinking he takes one of L's wrists and holds it to stop him from pulling at his hair. The blood trickles onto Connor's thumb, and he ignores it.]

Why does it make you feel this way?

[Well hell, if L knew why, he wouldn't be here panicking in front of a real robot, beginning to hyperventilate with tense, shallow breaths. It's too close, too fatally on the mark, and he wants to shut this down before it goes further, before someone possibly manages to help him out of the terrifying place he's built his home.

He shakes his head, slowly at first, gaining speed and force as he realizes just how much he doesn't know.]

It isn't like that.

[Something's broken, inherently, between what he feels and his normally very articulate and precise way of speaking to be understood. And now, he's eyes are very nearly pleading.]

Edited (ICON FAIL) 2019-09-24 02:41 (UTC)

[Connor pauses, noting the increased heart rate when he scans L- not that he needed to scan him, he can feel his pulse in his wrist, see the way he's breathing shallowly.]

Isn't it?

[Maybe he should stop... L seems genuinely uncomfortable. He lets go of L's hand, but keeps his hand on his shoulder as he slowly brings his thumb to his mouth and sucks the blood off. He probably didn't need to stare into L's eyes as he did it, but, there we go.

He pauses for a moment, and then-]

...You're severely anaemic.

[Whatever "it" is, it's... likely. That's the most uncomfortable thing about this by far, and every moment Connor holds his wrist and his gaze, L is a bug pinned to a corkboard. His already overlarge eyes stretch wider as Connor actually starts sucking his injured finger, spouting an observation that's... well, obvious, isn't it, when one is paying attention to his bloodletting and his sunken-eyed pallor in the mirror.

The SQUIP's not going to be happy about this; that's also obvious.]

A few drops of blood aren't enough to make that kind of difference.

[He's on his feet, isn't he? Moving, and speaking, and practicing magic to support a two-witch Bond? Blood is a useful and seductive tool.]

Something you're doing is causing it, and I can't imagine cutting yourself open over and over is helping.

[He laps his tongue over the cut, then lets go. He files away the information on L's blood for later.]

You should be eating more leafy greens and meat. But... since I know you don't like to eat cooked meals, apples are great for anaemia, too.

[He peers at L closely.]

You should take better care of yourself, Linden. You only have one body.

[Arguments form in his head, up to and including anemia is common, and not terribly serious. He knows it's unlikely to go over with Connor, because in truth, it's just not that good.

But everything Connor's saying is so difficult and feels so futile.

Another argument flickers through his mind. What does it matter how you treat your body, when it's likely to die young anyway? That's how he's always thought, always lived. A young body can take this abuse, and he couldn't quite leave that mindset behind when he stepped through the mirror.]

Can't you be the kind of robot that doesn't care about these things? I'm doing my best.

[And it is sort of true. The strain is crushingly difficult; the idea that it isn't satisfactory even more so.]

No. Do a better job.

[Blunt. But L needs to hear it. His grip on his shoulder tightens.]

It's fine standing straighter and combing your hair, but if you're not looking after your body on the inside, you're going to falter sooner or later. That's what bodies do when you don't maintain them. I shouldn't have to tell you this.

[L seems taken aback by Connor's bluntness. He wasn't lying, when he said that he was doing his best, or at least what he believes his best to be, and the idea of trying even harder is nearly exhausting enough to make his knees buckle.

No, his knees actually might be buckling, and it has nothing to do with Connor's demand. If it wasn't for the android gripping onto his shoulder, he might actually topple, but no, it's surprisingly supportive. For now he's staying up, while he's dressed down and shamed in the most matter-of-fact possible way.]

I know you're trying to help.

[That pleading travels from his eyes to his voice, just a slight little twinge of anxiousness.]

The SQUIP won't push me further than I can go, but... it'll get this done. Just give it time.

[Connor frowns, noting the way L buckles under him. Seeing the anxiety in his eyes.]

Maybe if you took better care of yourself, you could go further.

[He leans in slightly, trying to look less stern.]

Think of what you could accomplish if you were healthy. Right now, you're struggling under a Witch-Witch Bond, you're cutting yourself, you're not eating properly... and if those dark circles are any indication, you're not sleeping, either.

[He considers it, before letting go of L abruptly just to see how he fares standing on his own.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject