plasticasshole | Aefenglom IC Inbox

[It’s taken a lot of thinking and more than a few awkward conversations for Connor to get to this point, but he thinks he finally knows what he’s going to do about the SQUIP. The fact of the matter is that he doesn’t want to lose another Bond now that Justine is gone, and besides that... he still loves it. Maybe he can give it one more chance. So he knocks on the SQUIP’s door with his final verdict, careful to conceal what he’s here for from his Bonded for now. All it will know is that Connor is here to speak with it.]

Anyone home? It’s Connor. I need to speak with the SQUIP.

[L is away from home at the moment, which makes it a good time for Connor to arrive; the SQUIP is the one who answers, although there's a long pause before it does so.

The moment its eyes fall on him, a sharp ache shoots up through its chest, wrapping around its lungs; it doesn't show on its face, however. It manages to keep its expression neutral, despite the many reasons that seeing Connor now causes its mind to sink beneath a sudden wave of despair.]

Connor. What can I do for you?

[Connor's expression doesn't change either- he's not smiling, but at least he doesn't look angry.]

Can I come in? I need to speak with you.

[And he doesn't want to do it on the doorstep.]

[It gazes at Connor for a moment, quiet. There's an odd look lurking just beneath its expression; nothing obvious or out of place, but a softness, maybe even a bit of weakness.

When it speaks, its voice is even, however, as though they're acquaintances, at best work friends. It steps aside, gesturing to welcome him in.]

Of course.

[Connor moves inside, rubbing his hands together as though warming them from the cold. One of his oddly human habits. When he’s inside he turns to look at the SQUIP.]

I’ve decided what I’d like to do about our Bond. ...I’m sure you’re aware by now, but Justine has gone. I know what to expect from breaking a Bond.

[His expression softens slightly.]

But... as it turns out, the thought of breaking my Bond with you still hurts. And even after what you did to me, I find that I miss you.

[Gaze sad, he sighs.]

I don’t know if it’s what you want, given we haven’t spoken in a while. Maybe you’ve moved on. But breaking our Bond wouldn’t be ideal, in my opinion. I would rather move on from what happened.

[He doesn’t know if the SQUIP even feels the same any more, but the thought of losing it...]

Is that what you want, too?

[That was not what it was expecting. For once, shock reads clearly in its expression, and the Bond that they share erupts into a wall of emotions...

... though the two most notable are that of relief, and that of pain.

It takes it a moment for it to form a response. It seems to've lost its voice.]

... Connor...

[... it lifts a hand to press it at its own chest, its expression solemn.]

I'm not... like you anymore. Our relationship before... we started it because we understood each other, in a way humans never could. We shared something special. But now, I'm...

[... the hand at its chest curls, and it breaks off, shaking its head.]

... I am human now.

[The response is... odd. It isn't a no or a yes; it's almost as though the SQUIP is expressing why it thinks he shouldn't be interested in it anymore, or perhaps even asking, in its own way, if what it is now is still something Connor wants.]

[Connor hesitates before stepping closer, touching his hand to the SQUIP’s. The Bond responds to the touch, strengthening where it had become weaker through lack of contact.]

It’s true that you’re human now, but I think we still share something special despite that. We still understand each other. What happened to you hasn’t changed how I feel. Has it changed how you feel about me?

[He knows what he wants the answer to be, but he’s still afraid he might hear otherwise.]

Do you want to break our Bond because of it?

[The slightest intake of breath, a shift of its fingers beneath Connor's; his touch is achingly familiar, despite how alien everything still is to it now, and it speaks immediately, quickly, impulse and truth overlapping to force the response from its lips before it can even pass through its brain.]

No.

[It finally meets his eyes, and its gaze is... different now. There is a degree of sharpness, of distance that has been eliminated entirely; though its eyes are still sharp and dark, there's a very human softness there now, an earnestness that was never present before. It's a gaze that very few others have seen.]

Connor... I regret treating you the way I have. It was... short-sighted, and impulsive. As a SQUIP, I wasn't programmed to handle interpersonal relationships of my own, or to even want them; so, when I started feeling these... things, things that I was never made to feel, my only choice was to use the same algorithms I did for everything to determine what I should do. I began to treat you the way I was programmed to handle a particularly difficult or delicate user, rather than as an equal, or... even as someone...

[It slips its hand out from beneath his, and then sets it on top of it, pressing Connor's hand against its chest, beneath its warm fingers. Its heart beats quick and hard against his fingertips, nerves and excitement and fear and joy all at once.]

... that I came to love.

[With his hand pressed to its chest he moves closer, his free hand coming around to hold it close. He realises how much he missed it immediately, the comforting warmth and scent making him close his eyes and lean into the embrace more.]

I just want your word that it will never happen again.

[He would know if the SQUIP lied, but he doesn’t think it will. He monitors that heartbeat anyway, just incase.]

That’s all I ask.

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02-12 / For the SQUIP

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