plasticasshole | Noctium IC Inbox

V's movement makes his thighs ache, but he's smiling as V nods and confirms that he'll beg whenever asked. "Good." He starts moving again, apparently satisfied.

He spreads V's cheeks apart again as he fucks him, but this time his thumb ghosts over his other entrance, and he wonders how V would look with every hole filled. Choking on Connor's dick while he teased him with toys. The thought makes him moan and drive into him faster, feeling the building heat between his legs.

"You're so beautiful when you're like this..." The words are a stark contrast to how hard he's fucking into him, his hand sliding up his back with an almost reverent touch. When he drags the hand back down again his nails dig into the skin too, despite knowing V can't feel pain. That's something else to consider for two days' time.

For now he keeps moving, and feeling himself close to release he grunts and slips his hand around to play with V's clit again. It's an awkward kind of position, one that might have been uncomfortable for a human, but Connor feels no discomfort and it doesn't slow him down. His finger moves quickly, aiming to bring about a quick release now.

V was only staying on his knees due to how tense he was from keeping his orgasm at bay. As he felt Connor's thumb pass him over V's moan had to be stifled as he bit down on one of his knuckles to keep himself together. It just grew more difficult as Connor went faster.

He heard what Connor said but he couldn't respond properly at the moment. He shuddered heavily under the touch and V hoped that he stopped there because he knew that he was at the end of his ability to keep delaying the inevitable. When Connor's nails dug in and dragged down his back? V couldn't stop himself from spasming and moaning as pleasure racked his body.

It only grew more intense as Connor reached around to play with his clit, drawing out and abusing V's orgasm further. He couldn't string together more than a few words, but mostly he was just moaning Connor's name as Connor continued.

It's all Connor needed to hit his own orgasm- just knowing that V is at his own end, clenching around him. He wishes, in that moment, that he could fill V. He wants the mess, even. Just knowing that V was full of more than just his cock would have made Connor satisfied... or maybe that's the orgasm talking, and he's at the point where reason leaves him and all he can think about are the ways he wants to mark V and make him his.

It doesn't matter, ultimately. And by the time he's left panting and sliding his hands along V's back fondly, the feeling has mostly passed. All he feels now is a deep affection, and he pulls out and helps V turn back over so that he can curl up beside him and cradle him in his arms. Pressing his lips to V's forehead, he smiles to himself. He missed V so much, it really feels as though something has slotted back into place again and things are just right with the world now.

V had no way of knowing what Connor was thinking and what he wished, all that V knew is he felt the way Connor tensed against him in his own release, and V couldn't help but press himself into Connor and shift his hips to ensure that Connor was as far inside of him as was possible. As he came down from his high his breathing shifted from a desperate pant to controlled breathing, forced long and slow. He shivered as Connor's hands ran over his back from the relative rarity of the motion, but he liked it. He wanted to feel it more.

There's comfort in Connor helping him back off his knees and to his side, curling up against the body he'd come to bitterly miss. V went to try to tuck that cowlick of Connor's back but he froze as Connor kissed his forehead. He couldn't recall the last time someone showed this kind of affection for him - it must have been when he was a kid (a kid kid, not kid like how he used the word to talk about anyone under the age of 24). His eyes closed and his hand came to gently rest against Connor's cheek. V's jaw set as he felt his throat grow tight with emotion.

He swallowed and forced his eyes open before he could get too lost in it. His hand wrapped around to gently hold the back of Connor's neck as V carefully nosed his way to kiss Connor's throat. His breath was hot as he spoke, letting his lips brush against Connor's skin.

"I-" ~~love you~~ "missed you so much."

The reaction isn't one he expects- he takes in the tightening of V's jaw, the swallowing, and he's about to ask if he did something wrong when V is pulling him in closer. He closes his own eyes, enjoying the contact, smiling warmly as his hand closes over the one V has rested on his neck.

"I missed you, too." It feels like he should be saying something else. He certainly feels a lot of emotion right now, but he's not entirely sure what it is and even if his suspicions are correct... he has to be sure, first.

Not to mention, he doesn't know if V would like it very much.

"I'm so glad for you." He turns his head to kiss V's palm, then down his wrist. "For having you with me." It's the closest he can really come to voicing his feelings on the matter.

As Connor admitted he'd missed V as well he could feel his heart in his chest. He almost chided himself for it: he knew that Connor had missed him already and to flutter about it like he was doing was stupid. He refused to look inside of himself to acknowledge why his heart skipped a beat as Connor kissed his palm, his wrist. He chose to snort in amusement instead.

"Think you're 'bout the only person who'd ever say it out loud." He knew Kerry felt that way on some level, but he wasn't good at vocalizing his feelings. Night City was good at punishing people who spoke plainly about such things. V also wasn't going to fool himself into thinking he would ever stand equal to Vince.

As Connor kissed his wrist V allowed himself to gently brush whatever part of Connor he could with those fingers. That Connor would say such a thing made him warm but his smile pulled away from his eyes at the words. He still felt he was nothing more than a burden on others and that things were going to fall apart at some point, with it being his fault but he kept all of these thoughts behind his lips.

"Just glad you let me stick 'round." More glad that Connor made such an effort to stay near. He knew he made it hard and he knew that Connor disapproved of so many things he did. "Takes a lot'f patience to put up with me'n my bullshit."

"I have a lot of patience, V." Even if he does disapprove of a lot of what V does, that doesn't mean he's going to leave over it. He's too deep into whatever they have at this point, and it's never been his style to leave when things get tough anyway.

Smoothing back V's hair, he holds him close, moving to rub his shoulder affectionately. It's a memory he's going to hold close, he knows for sure, so he makes sure he cherishes this moment while it lasts.

"Do you like it when I say how I feel?" He's curious- he doesn't want to do it if V doesn't like it but Connor has always been so very upfront with the facts. Emotions are harder to pin down, he's found, but once he knows how he feels for sure they're just another fact that he doesn't mind sharing.

That patience was something V was simultaneously thankful for and also wish didn't exist. He was glad to have whatever the hell this was but also wished he didn't know that even this latest spat wasn't going to be the last for whatever bullshit reason would come up in the future. He was hard to love and he brought his own fall.

V rested his head against Connor and traced abstract patterns lightly across his skin. He enjoyed Connor smoothing his hair down, rubbing his shoulder, and closed his eyes in something like contentment. He was happy to just be with Connor like this but then Connor had to go and open his fucking mouth. He opened his eyes and he shifted from fully relaxed against Connor to having some tension as he considered the question. He considered it for probably longer than Connor expected.

He wasn't sure what answer he specifically was going to give. He wanted to say that he did appreciate the honesty but he also didn't want to face the truth of this situation. The idea that he could be in love with not one man but two scared the shit out of him. He'd abandoned the first man he loved out of fear, he didn't know what to do with two of them at this point. He was trying to be happy and to let himself have happiness but he also was terrified at the idea.

"I..." He falls quiet for a moment again. When he starts to speak it's very slowly. "I do, but I'm not so good with the touchy-feely shit. Night City's got a way'f hurtin' people for bein' honest 'bout their feelin's." He paused again as he tried to figure out how to articulate what he wanted to say. "I might not respond how you want me to, but that's got nothin' to do with you'n everythin' to do with me'n my history."

He had stopped tracing patterns on Connor, his hand flattening to rest on Connor. He struggled to meet Connor's gaze as he seemed to be rather embarrassed to admit it.

Connor hums, stroking a thumb over V's cheek. "I see." He's not sure how to respond to that, at first. Emotional responses take longer to process. He's still new to them, after all.

"I just want you to feel safe and comfortable. If there's anything I can do- or stop doing- to make that possible, then you only need to tell me." Even if it means keeping his sappy feelings to himself more, or trying to hold back the endless stream of questions he always has. He moves his hand to take V's chin and gently tip it up to try to catch his eye.

"And please- never be ashamed of yourself or your feelings." He knows that's easier said than done but he doesn't want V to feel like he has to be ashamed of who he is, or how he learned to cope in Night City. He just isn't sure how to convey that he loves all of V, without actually admitting that he loves him.

V closed his eyes momentarily as he leaned into Connor's touch a little. He liked the contact and he'd missed the way Connor felt against him, the way his touch was so gentle but not hesitant or weak. He partially opened his eyes as Connor started to speak, though his gaze still didn't raise.

Connor took his chin and V momentarily resisted the motion in that miserable way he had to him, but he did eventually give in to Connor. His eyes shifted to look almost shyly at Connor.

"I know, I know. I'm not 'fraid to tell ya to shove off if I need to." V really didn't need Connor to do so though. He was more worried that he would respond to things incorrectly and hurt Connor on accident because he was bad at dealing with these sorts of things.

"I jus- I'm not ashamed'f my-" He stopped himself as if he were about to catch himself in a lie. He considered what he was saying for a moment, then started again. "I'm not ashamed'f me or my feelings. I-"

He took Connor's hand from his chin and lowered his gaze. "It's not shame I feel. For me'r my feelings." It was self-hatred. It was the voice in the back of his head that called him a curse, worthless. It was the part of him that knew that he would hurt Connor and eventually he would destroy everything they had. He knew that this was going to blow up in his face.

V looked back up to Connor. "You're perfect. Really, you are." He pressed Connor's knuckles to his lips in a kiss. He wanted to push this conversation away from himself if he could.

Connor's eyebrows furrow in a way that means he doesn't quite understand. And he wants to understand, really. He selfishly wants to be the one who can help V with his problems, even though he knows realistically he probably can't.

He smiles at the way V kisses his knuckles, but his words just make Connor bite back a sigh. "I'm not." Perfect would imply he'd never done anything to be ashamed of himself, and he sure has. He knows V is trying to change the subject- it's so blatant- but he decides to let him. He doesn't want to ruin V's good mood by digging into his feelings.

Leaning in, he catches V's lips in a brief kiss before resting his forehead against V's. "But it makes me happy that you're happy." At least, he hopes V is still happy. He'd be angry with himself if his curiosity had ruined that.

He goes quiet for a moment, wondering how V would feel if he knew what Connor had done back in Detroit. He was almost the reason the revolution failed, and he'd gotten thousands of androids killed all for the sake of being a good tool. For the mission... it makes him feel ashamed when he remembers how he was used. He supposes V doesn't need or want to know, but to Connor their pasts are equally as important as their futures together.

V felt better with the kiss, regretting that it had to break but finding comfort as Connor's forehead rested against his. He laced his fingers with Connor's and held their locked hands to his chest. The fingertips of his other hand traced lightly over Connor's cheekbone. Happy was a strong word for V right now. His melancholy tugged at the corners of his mind.

"Just glad we're here." Which was true. V was a far cry from happy even on the good days, but he was grateful for every moment right now that they were together. He was just glad things were okay. He didn't want to think about the inevitable fall of all of this. He didn't want to consider how he was going to feel when he ripped his own heart out and stabbed it with a knife. He didn't want to think about how much it was going to hurt.

It was lucky the way that Connor went quiet and V could tell he was troubled by something. V debated asking - he didn't necessarily want to dig into Connor's thoughts but Connor was always the one who encouraged him to ask questions. "What's on your mind?"

He's a little surprised when V asks him what he's thinking about, but pleased that he's listening to Connor when he says V should ask more. He debates not telling him, but in the end he decides to leave it up to V.

"I was thinking of my past. I often wonder if you'd see me differently if you knew." But he realises that's heavy for what is supposed to be a happy reunion, and he doesn't want to ruin things. "Perhaps this isn't the best time to talk about it, but it does bother me."

He knows V doesn't take much notice of pasts but Detroit was what shaped Connor to be who he is today. And that comment about Connor being perfect just... doesn't sit right with him. He's not perfect. He's far from it.

He pulls V in closer and starts to stroke his hair. V might be tired... he shouldn't unload on him when he's potentially sleepy. And this seems like a good place for him to drift off- safe and warm in Connor's arms again. So he'll leave things up to V. There are other times to talk about this.

V wanted to say that he very much doubted Connor's history would make V think any different of him. V could hardly judge anyone for anything given his own history and the things he had done to survive, as well as what he did in the end of it all. He didn't protest, though. He wouldn't make promises unless he knew it was something he could keep and there were things that V would be profoundly upset with if Connor had done them. It seemed unlikely, but everything about his current situation and this place fell into the unlikely category.

"I see." It wasn't lost on V that he finally asked and the conversation was steered away from an answer, and now Connor was doing what he did to help V sleep. He was tired, but that was beside the point. He was quiet for a moment as he debated pressing for it regardless, but he ultimately decided this wasn't the time. They'd just spent nearly a month in a weird and fucked up dance around each other's feelings and he didn't want this fragile bridge to be burned so quickly after being rebuilt.

"Can talk about it some other time. Whenever you want." In true V fashion he wasn't going to force it and he probably wasn't going to bring it up again unless Connor did first. He pushed it from his mind and relaxed into Connor's arms to let himself slowly doze off.

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