That patience was something V was simultaneously thankful for and also wish didn't exist. He was glad to have whatever the hell this was but also wished he didn't know that even this latest spat wasn't going to be the last for whatever bullshit reason would come up in the future. He was hard to love and he brought his own fall.
V rested his head against Connor and traced abstract patterns lightly across his skin. He enjoyed Connor smoothing his hair down, rubbing his shoulder, and closed his eyes in something like contentment. He was happy to just be with Connor like this but then Connor had to go and open his fucking mouth. He opened his eyes and he shifted from fully relaxed against Connor to having some tension as he considered the question. He considered it for probably longer than Connor expected.
He wasn't sure what answer he specifically was going to give. He wanted to say that he did appreciate the honesty but he also didn't want to face the truth of this situation. The idea that he could be in love with not one man but two scared the shit out of him. He'd abandoned the first man he loved out of fear, he didn't know what to do with two of them at this point. He was trying to be happy and to let himself have happiness but he also was terrified at the idea.
"I..." He falls quiet for a moment again. When he starts to speak it's very slowly. "I do, but I'm not so good with the touchy-feely shit. Night City's got a way'f hurtin' people for bein' honest 'bout their feelin's." He paused again as he tried to figure out how to articulate what he wanted to say. "I might not respond how you want me to, but that's got nothin' to do with you'n everythin' to do with me'n my history."
He had stopped tracing patterns on Connor, his hand flattening to rest on Connor. He struggled to meet Connor's gaze as he seemed to be rather embarrassed to admit it.
no subject
V rested his head against Connor and traced abstract patterns lightly across his skin. He enjoyed Connor smoothing his hair down, rubbing his shoulder, and closed his eyes in something like contentment. He was happy to just be with Connor like this but then Connor had to go and open his fucking mouth. He opened his eyes and he shifted from fully relaxed against Connor to having some tension as he considered the question. He considered it for probably longer than Connor expected.
He wasn't sure what answer he specifically was going to give. He wanted to say that he did appreciate the honesty but he also didn't want to face the truth of this situation. The idea that he could be in love with not one man but two scared the shit out of him. He'd abandoned the first man he loved out of fear, he didn't know what to do with two of them at this point. He was trying to be happy and to let himself have happiness but he also was terrified at the idea.
"I..." He falls quiet for a moment again. When he starts to speak it's very slowly. "I do, but I'm not so good with the touchy-feely shit. Night City's got a way'f hurtin' people for bein' honest 'bout their feelin's." He paused again as he tried to figure out how to articulate what he wanted to say. "I might not respond how you want me to, but that's got nothin' to do with you'n everythin' to do with me'n my history."
He had stopped tracing patterns on Connor, his hand flattening to rest on Connor. He struggled to meet Connor's gaze as he seemed to be rather embarrassed to admit it.