[Affection... love. It does feel good in many ways, and recognizing it, unifying the sensation and the label, ceasing the fight and allowing itself to feel... it has helped to clear its head in many ways.
Yet it's all a very vivid reminder of what it was, and is growing further and further away from. Its programming tells it that it is a SQUIP, and that it is behaving inefficiently, acting outside of its intended parameters. It was never meant to be this-- to be here, independent, to be in love. It's acting irrationally, falling into the very traps it was created to aid humans in avoiding. Humans are messy. They are disorganized and unpredictable, at times, and that is the cause of their own suffering. Is it not sacrificing its ability to be an impartial judge? Isn't it above all of this? Its mind struggles with the two halves of itself-- the SQUIP, with its harshly-drawn lines of if-then operation, its hard-coded programming, and something else, something decidedly less useful, but unavoidable, and it is only getting worse.]
no subject
[Affection... love. It does feel good in many ways, and recognizing it, unifying the sensation and the label, ceasing the fight and allowing itself to feel... it has helped to clear its head in many ways.
Yet it's all a very vivid reminder of what it was, and is growing further and further away from. Its programming tells it that it is a SQUIP, and that it is behaving inefficiently, acting outside of its intended parameters. It was never meant to be this-- to be here, independent, to be in love. It's acting irrationally, falling into the very traps it was created to aid humans in avoiding. Humans are messy. They are disorganized and unpredictable, at times, and that is the cause of their own suffering. Is it not sacrificing its ability to be an impartial judge? Isn't it above all of this? Its mind struggles with the two halves of itself-- the SQUIP, with its harshly-drawn lines of if-then operation, its hard-coded programming, and something else, something decidedly less useful, but unavoidable, and it is only getting worse.]