V closed his eyes momentarily as he leaned into Connor's touch a little. He liked the contact and he'd missed the way Connor felt against him, the way his touch was so gentle but not hesitant or weak. He partially opened his eyes as Connor started to speak, though his gaze still didn't raise.
Connor took his chin and V momentarily resisted the motion in that miserable way he had to him, but he did eventually give in to Connor. His eyes shifted to look almost shyly at Connor.
"I know, I know. I'm not 'fraid to tell ya to shove off if I need to." V really didn't need Connor to do so though. He was more worried that he would respond to things incorrectly and hurt Connor on accident because he was bad at dealing with these sorts of things.
"I jus- I'm not ashamed'f my-" He stopped himself as if he were about to catch himself in a lie. He considered what he was saying for a moment, then started again. "I'm not ashamed'f me or my feelings. I-"
He took Connor's hand from his chin and lowered his gaze. "It's not shame I feel. For me'r my feelings." It was self-hatred. It was the voice in the back of his head that called him a curse, worthless. It was the part of him that knew that he would hurt Connor and eventually he would destroy everything they had. He knew that this was going to blow up in his face.
V looked back up to Connor. "You're perfect. Really, you are." He pressed Connor's knuckles to his lips in a kiss. He wanted to push this conversation away from himself if he could.
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Connor took his chin and V momentarily resisted the motion in that miserable way he had to him, but he did eventually give in to Connor. His eyes shifted to look almost shyly at Connor.
"I know, I know. I'm not 'fraid to tell ya to shove off if I need to." V really didn't need Connor to do so though. He was more worried that he would respond to things incorrectly and hurt Connor on accident because he was bad at dealing with these sorts of things.
"I jus- I'm not ashamed'f my-" He stopped himself as if he were about to catch himself in a lie. He considered what he was saying for a moment, then started again. "I'm not ashamed'f me or my feelings. I-"
He took Connor's hand from his chin and lowered his gaze. "It's not shame I feel. For me'r my feelings." It was self-hatred. It was the voice in the back of his head that called him a curse, worthless. It was the part of him that knew that he would hurt Connor and eventually he would destroy everything they had. He knew that this was going to blow up in his face.
V looked back up to Connor. "You're perfect. Really, you are." He pressed Connor's knuckles to his lips in a kiss. He wanted to push this conversation away from himself if he could.